


Near-Miss

by DianaSolaris



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 18:33:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaSolaris/pseuds/DianaSolaris
Summary: A mission goes wrong, and Kolivan brings Keith home. And when Lance sits down next to him, offering him a drink and some company while they wait for news, he doesn't know what to say.





	Near-Miss

 

                Kolivan had delivered bad news to more people than he cared to count. The Blade of Marmora was a dangerous organization; the faces of the dead were engraved in his head, name after name. He’d taken the new of Ulaz’s death to his parents, old and lonely on a small planet, and offered his condolences while knowing that in the end, it was his fault. And Antok –

                Antok, there had been nobody. Nobody left but Kolivan himself, who had poured himself a drink and stared up at the stars that seemed so cold and allowed himself to cry.

                So in the end, Kolivan supposed he should be grateful. Grateful that the body in his arms was still warm and breathing, that he’d been able to stem the blood flow and pour some medication down Keith’s throat before lifting him into his ship and determinedly flying him home. But looking at the scrapes and burns riddling Keith’s face and arms, at the tears in his suit, Kolivan didn’t feel grateful. He felt like a murderer.

                It didn’t help that he could feel the eyes of the five paladins on him as he stepped out of the ship. “He’s alive,” he managed to croak before anybody could voice the horror he could see on their faces. “He just needs…” He shook his head. “He will be fine. But I decided it was time to bring him home.”

                “Fine?” echoed Hunk in horror. Kolivan couldn’t help the flinch at that. It hit too close to his own regrets.

                “Yes.”

                Kolivan could feel Keith twitch in his arms, and with a start, he realized Keith was digging his head into his chest, half asleep and looking for comfort –

                _Not from me. I can’t. I’m sorry._

Shiro came forward, and Kolivan didn’t meet his eyes, not even as Shiro took Keith from him, cradling him in his arms. The apology rested on his lips, but he couldn’t quite voice it. He didn’t have the courage.

                Nobody else said anything. But as Shiro turned away, carrying Keith to the pods, the others followed him, gathering around him and asking questions that Kolivan could have answered if – again – he’d been able to speak.

                He sat down. He would leave soon, just once he knew that Keith was stable. And the silence stretched out.

                Someone tapped his shoulder; he started upwards, then realized it was the Blue Paladin. Lance.

                “Here.” Lance handed him a cup of something. “Nunvil.”

                “Nunvil?”

                “Some sort of Altean drink.” Lance sat down next to him, nursing his own drink. Kolivan could see the worry-lines etched in his face. “…What happened?”

                Kolivan shook his head, ready to say that it was classified, that the Paladins didn’t need to know –

                “He –“ It sat in his throat. “We were infiltrating a ship. One of the soldiers threw a grenade. I didn’t see it, but Keith did. He threw it away and it exploded about five inches away from him.”

                “Jesus,” whispered Lance.

                “He will be fine. Your Castle has incredible technology.” Kolivan wrapped his fingers even more tightly around the cup. “He will be fine,” he repeated.

                “Take a drink. It’ll help,” said Lance, a smile crossing his face as he took a sip of his own.

                “Are you not angry with me?” Kolivan asked.

                Lance paused at that, smile fading. “…I want to be,” he murmured. “But I know how –“ He sighed. “You can’t stop Keith from doing something once he’s got his mind set to it.”

                “I take it you’ve tried.”

                Lance nodded. Kolivan couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen Lance so quiet. Usually Lance was the first one to crack a joke or fill the silence. But between them, the silence settled – not uncomfortable, but filled with fear.

                “It’s not your fault,” Lance said after a while. “I’ve been kind of. I – Shiro wasn’t worried _enough_ but he wasn’t _here.”_ He rubbed a finger over the rim of his cup. “He’s stubborn and he’s stupid and he’s reckless.”

                “He’s a good soldier. And an excellent pilot.”

                “Yeah – yeah, I know. I’m just…” Lance closed his eyes. Kolivan could feel him shake – feel his heartbeat through the press of their shoulders. “Are you okay?” he asked finally.

                Kolivan couldn’t imagine why Lance would ask _him_ that, when he could hear the edge in Lance’s voice, when Lance’s foot was tapping against the floor with an unsteady rhythm. “I will be,” he said. Keith was alive. That was what mattered.

                Then he reached his arm around Lance’s shoulder and pulled him in, just enough. There was nobody else here. And he was tired of turning people into soldiers.

                The sobs started small, and they stayed soundless as Lance buried his head in Kolivan’s shoulder, but he could feel the way Lance trembled, his fear coming out of him in fits and starts. And Kolivan whispered to him, “It will be alright. Keith is home now.” He paused. “And I am not taking him back with me.”

                “Please,” Lance murmured. “Please don’t. I – we – _none_ of us can lose him. Losing Shiro was bad enough. I don’t want to lose him.”

                “You won’t,” promised Kolivan. Once Lance had begun to relax, the sobs slowing down, he pushed Lance gently off of his shoulder. He wiped the last few streaks of tears from his face. “Do you feel better?” he asked.

                Lance nodded.

                “You should go be with your friends.”

                “What about you?”

                Kolivan hesitated just a fragment too long. Then Lance was standing, Kolivan’s hand in his. “Come on,” he said, eyes soft. “Let’s go see how they’re doing.”

                He could have said no. He could have left anyway. But –

                “I suppose I can.”

                Lance grinned, and even when Kolivan stood up, he didn’t let go. Kolivan could live with that.


End file.
